What precipitated this huge phenomenon of people reaching out by the millions to connect with others? “The Internet,” is the simple answer. Underneath that answer is a deeper one: Belonging. We all have a basic human need to belong. It is a foundational value for human beings, and like all basic values, it constellates human energy like a strange attractor. It is almost as necessary as air. And, it’s what drives the exponential aggregation of connections on the massive scale the Internet has provided.

We know that other technology will arise, providing new opportunities, and new waves of connectivity. So the real question is not how people connect, but why they choose to connect to a person or a group, and why one rather than another. The answer is relatively simple: we connect based on similar values, and values translate into real-world—and, virtual-world—choices.

People have always connected, forming groups which offer more than ‘interaction opportunities.’ They offer markings of identity. Whether outwardly visible or not, our souls are tattooed with the desire to belong. Whether blatant or subtle, through self-expression, we display the signs that define ourselves and by which we recognize tribal kin and elective family alike, and have done for millennia. Our need for Belonging is far deeper and older than the technologies that now facilitate it so readily, and it is the fundamental basic human value for Belonging that will continue to drive the growth of these technologies. What social networks have newly discovered is the raw power of a basic human need.

Marshall Kirkpatrick, “Dead? Social Media’s Explosive Growth is Only Beginning” at ReadWriteWeb, Dec. 11, 2011. http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/dead_social_medias_explosive_growth_is_only_beginn.php

Looking for a job is one of the more difficult things in life. And it almost makes things more difficult when well meaning friends turn into advisors. “Don’t take it personally,” they say, particularly in regard to the inevitable rejections that one must tolerate. But being selected, or not, is personal on some level. It’s about you and the potential you are bringing to the job, team, and organization. And it isn’t pleasant to put yourself on the line to be evaluated and judged, only to get rejected.

Time to turn this situation on its head. Usually, in the job search process, the interviewer has all the power, and all the ability to impose judgment on you. You can’t change the role of the interviewer, but you can change your role, and how the interviewing process happens. You do that by knowing two things and doing one thing. What you need to know are 1) your own values, and 2) the priorities of the job. Then, what you need to do is make a connection between what is important to the job, and who you are/what you can do.

This means you have to take the time to figure out what your own values are priorities are, and the same for the job, before you walk into the face-to-face interview situation. If the job priorities are not clear, prepare the questions you will ask to clarify them. If you do your homework, then making the connections to what is wanted and what you offer will be fairly easy, and seem natural. And your confidence from being prepared will telegraph itself to the interviewer, in ways you cannot fake.

Does this kind of preparation guarantee success in your job search? No, it doesn’t. There aren’t any guarantees. But you will have a much greater chance of getting an interviewer’s positive attention and finding the right match between you and a job.